Venting a Bit

As I sit here, I'm trying my hardest to not start bawling my eyes out,

and forcing myself to be contained (and not say anything i regret) while I haven't been this bothered in quite awhile.

it's been quite the last couple of weeks.

but i've been hangin in there!

i guess cruddy things keep happening that make me so grumpy!

-i love my room mates.

almost all of them.

it's really rough living with someone who .. you just butt heads with.

every day,

when she's just being SO RUDE TO ME..

i'm thinking..

"kill them with kindness.

just kill them with kindness."

& i strive my hardest to be christ like.

i'll serve them, do things for them, to make them happy.

and then it just stabs me in the back.

i guess i just don't understand how someone can be so utterly rude to you,

use you for certain things,

only BE NICE to you when they just want something from you,

and then treat you like crap all over again.

she seizes to amaze me, and i don't know why i fall for it over and over.

i just need to continue to be nice to her...

as hard as it is.

as goes for the rest of my room mates,

they lift me up when i'm as far down as i can be.

i can't forget to give them credit for just being amazing.

Seriously, i'm asking everyone this...

did you ever have someone in your boyfriend or girlfriend's family that hated you?

Brandon left on his mission over two years ago.

me, and ... his relative got along great.

then about one year through, he just started bashing me, & being rude.

i didn't do anything.

i treasured his friendship.

and now..every family party isn't the greatest because there's that tension there.

it really hurts, and it's hard when you know you didn't do anything to them..

Math.

Utah State.

I feel like they're just trying to suck all the money out of me that they can.

I took Math 1010 in high school.

But they'll only accept it for 12 months..

but SLCC took forever in transferring my transcripts.

So yeah

i Have to take

like 3 math classes all over again,

just to get into the one i was supposed to be in.

I guess i'm really just frustrated,

needed to get it all out.

i've just been feelin like the world's against me,

and i've been trying to keep my head up and be nice to those that wrong me

killing them..with kindness.

i'm upset.

i'm bitter.

and i'm just trying to get through the rest of this week.

i guess everyone has those days.

right?