2011 may have been one of

the most challenging years of my life..
but certainly the best.

I may or may not have tears streaming down my face
at this moment
due to the complete appreciativeness
of the trials I have been through.

About a year ago,
I made a blog that only my best friend knew about.

It consisted of:
my ranting and venting
about all the full negativity going on around me.
I look back,
and know that person is gone,
and not coming back.

Thankfully.
Gratefully.

However,
it reminded me of what,
in truth,
got me to the point I am at now.

After my freshman year in college,
a small incident happened that
allowed me to make a list of things
I wanted to work on to better myself as an individual.
I'll admit..
the list was quite prodigious.

But..
I took that list to heart,
&& worked very hard this summer
to try and be the woman I have always wanted to become.

Though working on it every day,
on little & large things,
I believe I have become a new me.

God has allowed me to see some mighty miracles
this past year.

That is one thing I am very eager to cross off my bucket list.

From small acts of kindness every day,
to seeing Trevor's mom battle & win cancer,
my testimony has completely positively skyrocketed.

I am grateful & completely comforted.
I have learned to put 110% of my trust in the Lord.
Because I now know he is watching over me...
and so is my guardian angel I am so blessed to have.

In July, the year mark passed for
one of my best friends on his mission...sid.
I also said goodbye to Elders
Strickler, Lloyd, Olsen, and Reed all within a few months.



I couldn't even begin to express how much I have missed them.
All at the same time, I am very proud of them
and couldn't feel luckier to have them as my brothers who know me best.



I managed to get my heart broken once or twice,
and find the love of my life
all in the same year.

Though some may disagree,
I truly believe that
timing is everything.

Trevor and I both got out of a pretty
serious relationship at about the same time.

We both weren't looking for love,
that is for certainty.
But found each other,
and feel deep into that crazed word:
love.

I love where I am at in my life right now.
I am marrying my best friend.
I am living a fairy-tale,
&& i truly have the best family and friends a girl could ask for.


Though I may not have everyone
in my life's approval or acceptance
about the path I am about to take,
I am doing this for me.
I want them to know it is between
me
my future husband
and God.

God wouldn't have brought me Trevor,
and confirmed my decision,
if I were suppose to marry someone else.
I hope to have your support some day.



And even though this week hasn't
necessarily turned out the way I hoped my
"new beginning"
would,
I still have two resolutions for 2012.

One: Finally become the woman I know I am inside,
and love that woman.
As well as being the best
daughter,
sister,
aunt,
and most certainly: wife.

Two: Whatever curve ball life throws,
I will hit a home run.